Monday, April 13, 2020

Ironwood, the movie?

Okay, so I'm originally from Michigan's Upper Peninsula, Ironwood specifically.  Say ya do da UP, eh!  (Look it up.)  So I was pleased to learn that there is a new independent film named "Ironwood" and it is available on Amazon Prime.

Unfortunately, I then watched the film.  Not so good.

Here is a review I posted on Amazon.  After I clicked Submit, they said that it would be reviewed before appearing on their site.  So as I type this, I have no idea if Amazon will actually post this.  Anyway, here goes...
          Update: Amazon accepted the review.

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"Waste of Time"

Disclaimer: I watched this only because I'm from the UP and thought it was cool that there was a film nominally set there.  I was terribly disappointed in many ways.  I will say this, though: The scenery is beautiful, including Lake of the Clouds at the end.  It reminded me of home.  And that's about it for the positives.

The film is self-indulgent crap.  Main characters that are simply not great human beings.  Aimless "plot."  Completely implausible situations.  I mean who believes that these guys would be "friends."  Or that they would go camping?  Or that a woman would want to join them (join two strange dudes--or even more implausibly, join *these* two once you knew them even a little bit)?  Or, most of all, that anyone would ever consider hiring them?!?!

Then there's Houghton.  Not How-ton, HOUGHTON.  Yeah, so often in life it's the little things that bother me, the things that are so easy to get right--but they don't.  At first I thought this was an example of the filmmakers showing us how stupid these kids are, that they couldn't even do enough basic research to pronounce the name correctly, the name of the place where they want to impress someone enough to get a job.  I thought that once they got there they would be corrected.  I mean nobody could be so stupid as to make a film and not know how to pronounce the name of the main (only?) city mentioned in the film, right?  As it turns out, I think the filmmakers are the stupid ones, they really have no clue how to pronounce it.  Either that, or they knew better and it's their way of saying "screw you" to the UP.  Either way, thumbs down.

Finally: Why call it "Ironwood" at all?  Why smear (by association, by sharing a name) a town that the film has nothing to do with?

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