Two-Line Jokes

Some of these are really funny!

From Tickld:

"The 25 Best Two-Line Jokes Ever. #14 Is Priceless."
http://www.tickld.com/x/the-25-best-two-line-jokes-ever-14-is-priceless

Just in case the link goes stale, here are the jokes:



 

Song of the Day: Maria Taylor (ft. Michael Stipe) - Cartoons and Forever Plans

Love this song.  Great lyrics, great melody, great harmonization.  Great on every level.

"Maria Taylor (ft. Michael Stipe) - Cartoons and Forever Plans [Official Music Video]"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTlsu7QcxRg

Lyrics on AZLyrics.com:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/mariataylor/cartoonsandforeverplans.html

"Cartoons And Forever Plans"

Did you know the first time you were in my sights
And did you know that look that I threw at you
And did you know my love will never die

And did you know I can't do this without laughing
And did you know no matter where it takes us now
And did you know our love will never die

The pretend season that we filled
With cartoons and forever plans
I've seen it in your eyes
I will be satisfied

And did you know electricity favors us
And did you know I'm not reading into anything
And did you know our love will never die

I will run away, I will run away, I will run
I will run away, I will run away, I will run
Our love will never die
I will be satisfied

And did you know my glass was never empty
And did you know I'm not as fragile as I thought
And did you know my love will never die

Our love will never die

Song of the Day: Jhené Aiko - The Worst

Saw this artist in an article in USA Today, about Grammy-nominated artists, while traveling last week.  Goes to show that you just never know where you'll find great music!  I love the intimate and direct/open/raw vibe of this song.


Jhené Aiko - The Worst (Explicit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEm3lY3trRU

Lyrics from AZLyrics.com:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jheneaiko/theworst.html

"The Worst"

Tell me what you say now?
Tell me what you say
Come again?

If you cannot stay down
Then you do not have to pretend
Like there is no way out
I shoulda never let you in
Cause you got me face down

And don't take this personal
But you're the worst
You know what you've done to me
And although it hurts I know
I just can't keep runnin' away

[Hook:]
I don't need you [x4]
But I want you
I don't mean to [x4]
But I love you

Tell me what you say now
Tell me what you say?
You said that you would come again
You (said) that we would remain friends but
You know that I do not depend on
Nothing or no one
So why would you show up
So uninvited then
Just change my mind like that

Please don't take this personal
But you ain't shit
And you weren't special
Til I made you so
You better act like you know
That I've been through worse than you
I just can't keep running away
(But I don't need you)

[Hook]

Everybody's like
He's no item
Please don't like em
He don't wife em
He one nights em
I never listened
No
I shoulda figured though
All that shit you was spittin'
So unoriginal
But it was you
So I was with it
Then tell you the truth
Wish we never did it

Cause I usually do
Stick to the business
But you came out the blue
And then you just flipped it
God damn baby
My mind's blown
Be forgettin'
You live in a different time zone
Think I know what this is
It's just the time's wrong
Yeah I know what you did
But baby I'm grown
And my love is patient
And kind, and shit
This is real we can build
Through different types of shit
If you was really the realest
Wouldn't be fightin' it
I think your pride is just
In the way
Funny how everything changed
Once you got all that you wanted
Nothing was ever the same

[Hook:]
And though
I don't need you [x4]
I still want you
I don't mean to [x4]
But I love you

I don't need you [x4]
But I want you
I don't mean to [x4]
But I love you

Quote of the Day: Ralph Waldo Emerson on Fear and Action

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes the fact that we're afraid to do something is an indication of what we need to do.  Certainly has been true in my life.