Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Things I Learned in Ireland - PG 13

Ah, you learn so much when you travel.  This post is dedicated to James, Paul, and John.  You know who you are, you sick bastards.  :)   One of them very helpfully provided the above picture for me.

Okay, so this blog post might be a little off color.  But the guys I was working with seem to be experts--enthusiasts, even!--on this subject, so I thought I'd pass along some knowledge.  They said they have a calling for this subject.  It sounds like this: "Baaaa!"

It all started when I said I was going to take a motorcycle ride to Achill Island, on the west coast of Ireland.  One of them said that there would be plenty of company out there for me, lots of sheep on the island (and he was right).  He said he likes one in particular.  Because she has a bad leg and can't get away so easily.

Over time I learned more and more from these experts.  Just book learning, by the way!  No hands-on training for me.  For example...

  • The ones with the short front legs work better if you're on a hillside.
  • Wear "wellies" (Wellington boots), so you can put their hind legs in the boots ... so they can't get away).
  • Have a cliff nearby.  Because when a sheep approaches a cliff their natural tendency would be to back up.
  • Finally, they advised me to make sure that I get one that can't talk.

Yikes, they must have some long winters there in Ireland!

I'm happy to say that I failed all their pop quizzes.  They's ask me why would someone want to wear wellies when working with sheep.  They asked me why it's good to have a cliff nearby.  And so forth.  I didn't know ANY of the answers--but they did!

Here's a quick joke:
Q: Do you know what they call sheep shearers in Ireland?
A: Beauticians.

In closing, here is a simple--but disturbing--image one of the guys sent me, demonstrating how the wellies are used.

P.S. They guys said that my Adsense numbers (the number of clicks my adds on this site get) will go through the roof after this post.  They said that my blog will suddenly become VERY popular among farmers.  So I guess there is a bright side to all of this.  Maybe.   :-/

P.P.S. I have waited to post this until my flight is leaving Dublin.  This way the guys can't exact revenge on me, not yet anyway, for revealing their secrets.  :)

Wait, I think I spoke too soon.  Knowing that I was preparing this blog post, one of the guys put together this meme, specially for me.  Like I said, sick bastards!