Saturday, December 3, 2011

Hermain Cain - Final Thoughts

This is a lightly paraphrased version of Hermain Cain's speech earlier today, in which he suspended his presidential campaign. Enjoy!

From the Borowitz Report:
"A Farewell from Herman Cain"

Although it is humorous, there is a lot of truth in there.

"After months of crisscrossing this great land of ours and participating in over three hundred televised debates, I am being disqualified because of an extramarital affair. And that raises the following question: are you fucking kidding me?"

"I mean, let’s get real. I never heard of Libya. I didn’t know whether that CNN dude’s name was Wolf or Blitz. And my only training for running the #1 nation in the world was running its #8 pizza chain. Yet none of that, I repeat, none of that disqualified me. In fact, I was the front-fucking-runner, as long as I kept my 9-9-9 in my pants. (I have no idea what I meant by that — I just like saying 9-9-9.)"

"But here’s the part that really kills me. You’re kicking me to the curb because I was messing around, and instead you’re going with… Newt Gingrich? I repeat: are you fucking kidding me?"