Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Quote of the Day: W. H. Auden, on What Freud Taught Us

I heard a portion of this poem quoted on a podcast recently.  It really touched me.  See if you don't agree.

I really didn't know how to assign a title to this blog post.  I hope the title accurately captures what this post is about.

The poem is called "In Memory of Sigmund Freud" by W. H. Auden.  I found it online at Poets.org:

The poem is nominally about Freud.  But it speaks to a universal human experience, I think.

This is the part that touched me:
They are still alive, but in a world he changed
simply by looking back with no false regrets;
     all he did was to remember
   like the old and be honest like children. 
He wasn’t clever at all: he merely told
the unhappy Present to recite the Past
     like a poetry lesson till sooner
   or later it faltered at the line where 
long ago the accusations had begun,
and suddenly knew by whom it had been judged,
     how rich life had been and how silly,
   and was life-forgiven and more humble, 
able to approach the Future as a friend
without a wardrobe of excuses, without
     a set mask of rectitude or an
   embarrassing over-familiar gesture. 

Look back.  Be honest.  Don't blame.  Learn as you go.  Life is good.  The future is bright.

Here is the complete poem, because the whole thing is good:

When there are so many we shall have to mourn,
when grief has been made so public, and exposed
     to the critique of a whole epoch
   the frailty of our conscience and anguish,

of whom shall we speak? For every day they die
among us, those who were doing us some good,
     who knew it was never enough but
   hoped to improve a little by living.

Such was this doctor: still at eighty he wished
to think of our life from whose unruliness
     so many plausible young futures
   with threats or flattery ask obedience,

but his wish was denied him: he closed his eyes
upon that last picture, common to us all,
     of problems like relatives gathered
   puzzled and jealous about our dying. 

For about him till the very end were still
those he had studied, the fauna of the night,
     and shades that still waited to enter
   the bright circle of his recognition

turned elsewhere with their disappointment as he
was taken away from his life interest
     to go back to the earth in London,
   an important Jew who died in exile.

Only Hate was happy, hoping to augment
his practice now, and his dingy clientele
     who think they can be cured by killing
   and covering the garden with ashes.

They are still alive, but in a world he changed
simply by looking back with no false regrets;
     all he did was to remember
   like the old and be honest like children.

He wasn’t clever at all: he merely told
the unhappy Present to recite the Past
     like a poetry lesson till sooner
   or later it faltered at the line where

long ago the accusations had begun,
and suddenly knew by whom it had been judged,
     how rich life had been and how silly,
   and was life-forgiven and more humble,

able to approach the Future as a friend
without a wardrobe of excuses, without
     a set mask of rectitude or an 
   embarrassing over-familiar gesture.

No wonder the ancient cultures of conceit
in his technique of unsettlement foresaw
     the fall of princes, the collapse of
   their lucrative patterns of frustration:

if he succeeded, why, the Generalised Life
would become impossible, the monolith
     of State be broken and prevented
   the co-operation of avengers.

Of course they called on God, but he went his way
down among the lost people like Dante, down
     to the stinking fosse where the injured
   lead the ugly life of the rejected,

and showed us what evil is, not, as we thought,
deeds that must be punished, but our lack of faith,
     our dishonest mood of denial,
   the concupiscence of the oppressor.

If some traces of the autocratic pose,
the paternal strictness he distrusted, still
     clung to his utterance and features,
   it was a protective coloration

for one who’d lived among enemies so long:
if often he was wrong and, at times, absurd,
     to us he is no more a person
   now but a whole climate of opinion

under whom we conduct our different lives:
Like weather he can only hinder or help,
     the proud can still be proud but find it
   a little harder, the tyrant tries to

make do with him but doesn’t care for him much:
he quietly surrounds all our habits of growth
     and extends, till the tired in even
   the remotest miserable duchy

have felt the change in their bones and are cheered
till the child, unlucky in his little State,
     some hearth where freedom is excluded,
   a hive whose honey is fear and worry,

feels calmer now and somehow assured of escape,
while, as they lie in the grass of our neglect, 
     so many long-forgotten objects
   revealed by his undiscouraged shining

are returned to us and made precious again;
games we had thought we must drop as we grew up,
     little noises we dared not laugh at,
   faces we made when no one was looking.

But he wishes us more than this. To be free
is often to be lonely. He would unite
     the unequal moieties fractured
   by our own well-meaning sense of justice,

would restore to the larger the wit and will 
the smaller possesses but can only use
     for arid disputes, would give back to
   the son the mother’s richness of feeling:

but he would have us remember most of all 
to be enthusiastic over the night,
     not only for the sense of wonder
   it alone has to offer, but also

because it needs our love. With large sad eyes
its delectable creatures look up and beg
     us dumbly to ask them to follow:
   they are exiles who long for the future

that lives in our power, they too would rejoice
if allowed to serve enlightenment like him,
     even to bear our cry of ‘Judas’, 
   as he did and all must bear who serve it.

One rational voice is dumb. Over his grave
the household of Impulse mourns one dearly loved:
     sad is Eros, builder of cities,
   and weeping anarchic Aphrodite.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Song of the Day: Black Lab - Weightless

Beautiful song, from one of my favorite bands.

"Black Lab - Weightless (with lyrics)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO5NMSs5Ywk
Broken glass, bleeding wrist
A second chance for a simple kiss
I waited for you at the edge
Could you take such a risk?
On your knees, on your back
Who'd you call when things got bad?
Did they answer? Did u ask?
Cuz I would answer, I would tell you this 
Who is to say? Who is to blame? Who will you give yourself to?
Cuz nobody wants, more than I want you

Complete lyrics:

I can see, see you there
Hanging weightless in the air
Wind and sunlight in your hair
And I can see you, I can see you there
Olive skin, your secret smile
Can trade again a secret island in your mind
Lost forever, lost before your time
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
And who is there left?
Nothing they said can save you
Broken glass, bleeding wrist
A second chance for a simple kiss
I waited for you at the edge
Could you take such a risk?
On your knees, on your back
Whod you call when things got bad?
Did they answer? Did u ask?
Cuz I would answer, I would tell you this
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
When no one is left and nothing they said can save you
And who is to say who is to blame?
Who will you give yourself to?
Cuz no body wants, more than I want you
Who is to say?
Who is to blame?
Theres nobody wants you like I do
Who is to say?
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
When no one is left and nothing they said can save you
Who is to say? Who is to blame? Who will you give yourself to?
Cuz nobody wants, more than I want you

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Song of the Day: Brandi Carlile - The Things I Regret

Saw Brandi play the other night, at the Tabernacle in Atlanta.  Lots of great songs, most of her classics (The Eye, The Story, etc.).  But after some reflection, this is the song that sticks, that keeps playing in my mind.  Not sure why, but I'm rolling with it.

Brandi Carlile - "The Things I Regret" (FUV Live at Electric Lady Studios)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5jr1zr3i28

Damn she's good.  This song really hits me.




Lyrics from AZLyrics.com:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brandicarlile/thethingsiregret.html

 "The Things I Regret"

Ohhhhh ohhhh ohhhh oh-o-oh
Ohhhhh ohhhh ohhhh oh-o-oh

There’s a hole in my pocket where my dreams fell through,
from a side walk in the city to the avenue.
There’s a leak in my dam ‘bout the size of a pin,
and I can’t quite remember where the water’s getting in.

But when you’re wearing on your sleeve,
all the things you regret,
you can only remember what you want to forget.
You feel it tugging at your heart,
like the stars overhead,
‘til you rest your bones on the killing bed.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

With the weight of the world resting on my back,
and the road on which I've travelled is as long as it is cracked.
But I keep pressing forward with my feet to the ground,
for a heart that is broken makes a beautiful sound.

But when you’re wearing on your sleeve,
all the things you regret,
you can only remember what you want to forget.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

Ohhh ohhhh ohhh oh-o-oh
Ohhh ohhhh ohhh oh-o-oh

I walk through my days like a ghost in a dream,
but the field carries on and my past follows me.
It’s hard moving on from the things you done wrong,
when they play in your head like an old fashioned song.

But when you’re wearing on your sleeve,
all the things you regret,
you can only remember what you want to forget.

Lonely miles,
without you.

Lonely miles,
without you.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me,
when I doubt you.

Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me.
Let them roll over me.

Let the ground keep my faults.
Let the water be my home.
Let the dust hold my soul,
like a holy rolling stone.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Android vs. iOS, according to PorhHub

Not sure what to say about this, so I'll just leave it right here.  Some nice infographics, for those of you who like that sort of thing.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

When you have no options, Camry edition

Okay, so I was making a left turn the other day.  Two left turn lanes, one car already stopped ahead in each lane.  Problem: They are both Toyota Camrys!  A Toyota Camry, as you, my seven readers*, know all too well, is never driven by someone who gives two shits about driving.  Okay, there are exceptions, but you know what I mean.

I have noted this in the past, in my poetry.

Anyway, what do you do when faced with the decision?  You can't win.  You get behind the Camry.  Or you get behind the Camry.  Either way you lose.  :(


* estimated

Monday, September 21, 2015

Happy Birthday ... and Time Marches On

Happy Birthday to me (yesterday)!  It was a wonderful day.  Actually, it was a wonderful weekend.


Since it was my birthday weekend I asked my daughters to see the movie "Pawn Sacrifice" with me, which we did.
http://www.bleeckerstreetmedia.com/#!pawn-sacrifice/c11le
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596345/reviews?ref_=tt_urv

I confess, it probably wasn't something the girls liked as much as I did, but I appreciated their attention.  Good for them to learn something about a unique individual, Bobby Fischer, good and bad.  Fischer was brilliant, and he was insane, and he produced some masterpieces that we will always be able to study and cherish.

The movie wasn't action packed, by any means.  It explored the mind of Bobby Fischer, the tension in his life and in his games.  And it brought out several key questions, I think.
  • What does it take to be the very, very best, perhaps the best in history, at something?  Is it worth it?  Is it worth sacrificing literally every other part of your life?
  • Is it okay to tolerate madness in order to see the brilliance that is the flip side of that same coin?  Is it okay to let someone descend into madness so the world can reap the benefits, see the beauty?  Should people have catered to Fischer's whims so much, or should they have stood up to him more?
  • Is it paranoia if they really are out to get you???
If you really want to learn more about Fischer, try watching this YouTube documentary.  It is a complicated, self-contradictory, and sad story.
Bobby Fischer - Anything to Win (Biography) FULL


Then we were hungry so I Googled up barbecue joints and we found this hole in the wall, Wyatt's Barbecue, in an interesting part of town.  I think the pictures speak for themselves.  :)

You know it's going to be good when you see a place like this.

My girls saw this immediately and were fascinated reading it!

 
My foot was looking good that day, but it was NOT on the menu!


Finally, we caught some free performances in support of the new Atlanta Beltline project.

http://beltline.org/event/art-on-the-atlanta-beltline-performances-7/
September 19 at the Reynoldstown Stage

    6 pm: Staibdance – Zoroaster and Tumbleweed [Dance]

Zoroaster and Tumbleweed is an original piece developed exclusively for the Atlanta Beltline, with its roots in Staib’s most recent evening-length work, “attic.” This work is an examination of the Persian New Year Celebration of Nowruz –  the piece belongs outside, in nature, as it is devoted to the sun and the equinox.

    6:30 pm: Gateway Performance Productions

To connect the public and landscape to the importance of food in our community through a new outdoor temporary site sculpture, free writing workshops, a community food drive for the hungry and an original outdoor performance piece that includes: original music, spoken word, and dance/choreography performed by a L5-member, culturally-diverse, performing ensemble.

    7:30 pm: Dad’s Garage – Improv Show

The performance will feature five improvisers playing a variety of short-form improv games; this will be similar to what you might see on “Who’s Line is it Anyway.” We will take suggestions from the audience as well as call up audience members for interactive scenes. The content of this show will be family-friendly and accessible to a wide audience.

    8:15 pm: Saira Raza – Psychedelic Bollywood [Dance/Performance]

Saira Raza along with 10th Letter, Sanam Studio Dancers, and Becky Katz, will present an experimental cinematic and musical experience, inspired by Bollywood, folk music, and science fiction.

    9:00 pm: Ghosts Project – Silent film screening

Two evenings of live musical performance by The Ghosts Project followed by a silent film screening with live accompaniment.
We caught a bit of the 6:30 and 8:15p performances, but really were there for the Dad's Garage Improv.  During the 6:30 stuff my girls were asking how long we were going to stay.  But once the improv started they enjoyed it immensely.  I explained to them that A) sometimes you don't know how good something will be, you just have to give it a try; and B) it was free.   :)

Best part of the improv was when they brought a dog up to the stage to take part in a skit.  They had pre-arranged this; we saw them ask the owner.  We knew it was going to be good because we had played with the dog, a beautiful 3-year old female retriever named Scully earlier.  Almost reddish fur.  The girl who owned her said that she named her Scully because her hair matched Scully's hair exactly, from X-Files!  How cool is that???  My girls and I had introduced ourselves and played with Scully extensively before her big performance on-stage.  So seeing her kick ass was great!  The Dad's Garage guys said that they can't do the "dog on stage" routine much, only when performing on outdoor stages.  Very cool.

I also found out that Google is a Gold Sponsor of all this "Art on the Beltline" stuff.  Except it's the new, shitty-logo Google.   :)
http://art.beltline.org/

Wait a minute.  On the website they have the good old Google logo.  But on the physical literature they passed out it was the shitty new Google logo.  Hmm....

Anyway, here's a picture of Scully on stage, stealing the show!


So then on Sunday, my actual birthday, my daughters and I went on a 2.5 hour Segway tour of the East Side of Atlanta.  We learned a few things, but really we just wanted to have fun riding Segways!  They were a blast.  Don't be intimidated, give it a shot!  It was awkward at first, but before long we had no problems at all.  So much fun to watch my daughters whiz around and have fun.  So much fun, also, to expose them to new things and watch them learn.
http://www.atlcruzers.com/




We then watched an episode of Doctor Who back at home, after watching other episodes earlier in the week.  I love that my girls love this show.


Then I had to rush to a hockey game.  Not just any hockey game, mind you, but the championship game in the open league in which I play, where I skate with the 20-somethings.

Let me set the stage.  We play in the Middle AAA division, one level below the highest level of Amateur hockey in the city, Upper AAA.  Over the seasons we've picked up some great young players.  We came close to winning the championship in our league last year, and felt like we would have a strong chance this year. Sure enough, we finished with a solid record, tied for first in the league with a team that had dropped down from Upper AAA.  We split a pair of games with them in the regular season.  They smoked us 11-5 early in the year.  Then we returned the favor later in the season, 11-7, when they were missing some of their better players.

Playoff setup is top four teams, double elimination.  We both won our first games against other teams in the first round (we won 5-3 against the team that we had lost to in the championship game last season).  We then faced each other in the second round.  It was a very fast, high-scoring game, fun to play, and we ultimately prevailed 10-8, after being down 3-0 and 5-2 early.  Great comeback.  We advanced directly to the finals and they went to the loser's bracket to play an extra game, which they won, before they, too, advanced to the finals.

No surprise, we had to play them again.  This time we got the early edge, holding a 6-3 lead at one point.  Then it all fell apart.  I think we relaxed too early, or got nervous.  But they didn't.  We gave up one goal early in the third (I was on the ice for that one).  Then two goals on one shift later in the period.  All tied up.  Went to overtime, where we play four-on-four.  One of our guys had a great chance early in OT to win it, but didn't quite finish.  Late in overtime they got a 2-on-1 break and scored.  Tough way to lose.

Since that was our first loss (double elimination, remember?) that just set up one more game, yesterday's showdown.  Close game, very fast and well-played.  We went ahead 1-0, then they tied it after I blocked a shot with my skate, but it ricocheted directly to one of their players who buried the shot from a tough angle.  Bad bounce, tied 1-1.  We gradually pulled ahead, little by little.  Before long we were up 5-3 in the third.

Sitting on our bench we could all feel the tension.  We were all thinking we blew a lead like this last game.  And they were flying, really pressing us hard.  I had to do something so .... I said, hey, haven't we been here before (holding a lead nervously as the other team was feverishly clawing their way back)?!

Spratty gave me some shit in the locker room after the game for that, saying that you can't jinx us like that!  But I felt we were tense on the bench, too nervous.  I wanted--needed--to break the tension.  Face the elephant in the room head on.  In my defense, I think I had the right attitude and it did release some tension, got a few chuckles.

And, hey, in all seriousness, where else would we rather be?  Great hockey game, battling for the championship?  I asked that out loud, too, smiling as I said it: "Where else would you rather be?"  Dustin, to my right, answered immediately: "Whistler" (skiing) he said.  Smartass!   :)

Long story short, we held on for a 5-4 win as they attacked like crazy at the end.  All three games we played against that team in the playoffs were fast and close, just great hockey.  Two very evenly matched teams.  We just happened to get the better of it yesterday, but it could easily have gone the other way.




After celebrating in the parking lot with a few beers I had to get back to real life.  Got a tire with a nail in it fixed (plugged), so got a chore done there (with the help of a friend who did all the work because I've never plugged a tire myself).  Little thing, but nice to get stuff like that fixed and done with--until the next thing breaks.


Finally, the Green Bay Packers got some tiny amount of revenge last night for last season's NFC Championship Game loss against the Seattle Seahawks.
Packers flip script, stifle Seahawks in fourth quarter

It was a very full day, a full weekend, actually.


And then back to reality.  Today I am sad.

Team captain gave me a call.  I was asked to step down from the team.  Because of our great season we got moved up to the next division, Upper AAA, whether we wanted to or not.  Stiff competition, and the team wants to go younger and faster ... without me.

I have mixed feelings.  This was not unexpected, it was going to happen at some point even if our team didn't get moved up.  But you always think "one more season" so this was maybe a bit sooner than I had thought or hoped.  I honestly don't blame the captain or the other guys, they're a great group and I'll miss playing with them terribly.  The next division up is tough.  They are right.  So I'm going to let it go, and be happy that I went out on top with this team.  Go Bears!

I have other options, buddies on my Over 35 team that have moved down as they have gotten older.  They've asked me to play with them before, so I can do that.  Or maybe I'll take a season off.

Either way, time marches on.  Always.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Song of the Day: Meg Myers - Lemon Eyes

Just heard of this artist via a concert announcement--on a day I can't attend said concert.  :(

Anyway, I've been listening to her a lot recently.  Here's one song of hers that I adore.  I just love the mood of this song.

Meg Myers - Lemon Eyes [Official Audio]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMUis90DHtM


Lyrics from AZLyrics.com:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/megmyers/lemoneyes.html

Hush now baby, there's no need to cry
Let me wipe away those lemon eyes
All your worries, such a waste of time
You can't even see how much you're mine

You're so bitter, bitter. bitter, yellow
Settle, settle, got to settle, down okay
Listen, you listen, you listen, yellow
It's a killer, a killer, a killer, jealousy

Lemon eyes, you're mine
Yellow eyes, all mine
I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away
Honey you can't hide
Lemon eyes, all mine

Hold on baby, careful what you say
You've been drinking someone else's pain
I can't keep on staring at the sun
Yellow, I will have to bite your tongue

You're so bitter, bitter. bitter, yellow
Settle, settle, got to settle down okay
Listen, you listen, you listen, yellow
It's a killer, a killer, a killer, jealousy

Lemon eyes, you're mine
Yellow eyes, all mine
I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away
Honey you can't hide
Lemon eyes, all mine

(All mine)
And the doctor said you're fine (all fine)
Just don't get stuff in her eyes (all fine)
See I told you were mine (all mine)
(Lemon eyes)

Lemon eyes, you're mine
Yellow eyes, all mine
I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away
Honey you can't hide
Lemon eyes, all mine